Third Tips for Teachers meeting: Fall 08

In our third Tips for Teachers of the semester, we read and discussed the article, “A Nation of
Wimps”, by Hara Estroff Marano, in Psychology Today, 2004. It can also be found at
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-2004.

We started our discussion with one member present playing ‘devil’s advocate’ by saying, in defense of parents hovering more over their children, that there are more dangers in the world today and so more reason for parental concern. Another followed this point by saying that when he was a child, he used to run off and play alone in the woods, but if parents allowed a child to do this nowadays, they might be arrested. Since we live in a more litigious society, it might be that parents feel they need to be overprotective, to avoid being sued.

It used to be, we thought, that childhood had more emphasis on play and fantasy, with children finding ways to amuse themselves. Children took more risks, used their imagination, and jumped and ran about over hard surfaces, whereas in today’s playgrounds, the ground usually has a soft coating, and parent seem ready to catch a child, even before he or she has fallen. Using their imagination is important to children, in terms of solving all sorts of problems, and even in knowing how to deal with bullies. But now not only is play generally more organized, but also there is the impact of electronic games, which leave less room for imagination and creativity.

Some argued, however, that the Jenkins piece, for example, shows that children are still being creative on the fan fiction websites, and one teacher present said, “The human spirit fills the space that is given to it”.

We moved on to say that students today need to be resilient, and often are not, which is why some react badly to taking Expository Writing, and are unable to take the risks we encourage them to take. One teacher commented that usually he hands papers back at the end of class, but recently had to hand them back at the start of class, and witnessed some students crying about their grades. He said it was hard to see adults crying, at which another teacher questioned whether they were really adults, since they want their teachers to tell them what to do, and which quotations to use. This implies that students are not thinking for themselves, but one teacher asked if students have ever thought for themselves, especially when education was focused around memorization.

Some teachers confirmed the article’s view that many students are depressed, and that substance abuse is on the rise. More young people seek psychiatric help or see a psychotherapist, and there seems to be less stigma about openly speaking about this. It was also mentioned that, perhaps in reaction to parents having hovered so much around their children, that students remain close and dependent on their parents. One teacher talked of how a student of hers had a friend who died, and she was impressed with how immediately her mother was there for her. Another teacher asked whether her students saw her as the ‘mother figure’, and there was talk about the need to define boundaries.

We also see examples of students asking their parents for help in writing their papers. One student openly admitted that he had asked his father for help, and indeed his father had rewritten entire paragraphs. However, we agreed that the more resilient and independent students are often those who are able to succeed academically.

Some teachers said that they thought that we are currently living in an environment of depression, as it increases business for drug companies, therapists and lawyers. But some also said that there is tremendous pressure on students to succeed, and go on to lofty careers, and this can promote depression and certainly stress for these students. Therefore we should not blame the victim of depression (the students), but instead look for ways by which we could help them and assist them in feeling more comfortable about taking risks and coming out of their ‘safe zone’. Additionally it’s important to differentiate between pseudo-depression (sometimes caused, some people present thought, by giving drugs to help performance) and real depression. The fact that some people might be swayed by advertising from the drug companies to take certain drugs, often masks the distinction between real and pseudo-depressive states.

Some teachers present mentioned how many students are living away from home for the first time, and this might be hard for some. And this might increase their dependence on the teacher, and the hope that the teacher will like them. They often think, possibly as a result of high school thinking, that if they give the teacher what they think he or she wants, they will get a good grade. And it is for this reason (amongst others) that many are uncomfortable in peer review.

One teacher said he thought that the types of struggles students face today have been there for the last twenty years, and the only difference is that now they are better publicized. However, he did go on to say that students are now more risk averse and less adventurous. It was suggested that if parents really do become so over-involved in the lives of their children, and if children also, as Twenge states, are given an inflated self esteem, they might end up being completely confused about their real feelings.

One member present, though, shifted perspective in an interesting way by suggesting that this was a middle and upper class angle at viewing the situation, as the less privileged in society, such as the poor or recent immigrants, might have been forced to be much more independent. As someone said, this article does not describe the lives of many African American and Hispanic students, whose parents might be out at work, or for other reasons absent.

But the article might resonate for those students from higher echelons of society, many of whom have an idealist version of how they should live, including going to graduate school and then on to a job on Wall Street (or maybe not the latter, nowadays). And students might see themselves as becoming detached from the parental home, yet still are attached by the virtual umbilical cord of the cell phone. But in general, as someone remarked, American society is one of forgiveness, yet does this make us perform better, or does it hamper resilience?